I must confess, though, that I was annoyed. I didn't want to get up at 6:18 a.m. He was supposed to sleep until at least 7 a.m. And why did I have to get up? Why didn't Tim jump out of bed so that I could sleep a little more? We did have a schedule to keep, ya know?
I know what some of you are thinking....that I must be a brat to be complaining that I had to get up just 45 minutes earlier than usual. And maybe I am a brat. But I was tired. And I had stayed up too late last night doing important things. Okay, so maybe not important, but I had stayed up watching t.v., reading status updates on facebook, catching up on all the blogs I like to read, and looking for fun activities to do with the twins on Pinterest. And we had had a busy weekend with lots of company. So let's just say that I was a little grumpy from my lack of sleep.
So, yeah, it was 6:18 a.m. and I drug my feet down the hall to the nursery. I opened the door and heard a little voice say, "hi." But it was more like "hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii," because Rhett likes to draw out the words he knows. I like to think this is because he is from Texas. Anyway, it was cute, but I was still annoyed. I picked him up and then sat down in the big chair with him.
At first, my mind started racing with negative thoughts, like, "it's so cold in here...I'm going to be tired all day...our schedule will be off....I'm going to have Rhys up when Rhett sleeps and Rhett up when Rhys sleeps...what about my time...I'm probably going to have a headache...when am I going to take a shower...why can't he just sleep...I'm not appreciated...blah blah blah.
As we sat there in that dark, quiet room, Rhett snuggled his face into my shoulder and I felt his whole body relax against me. I felt his hot little breath on my neck. And immediately I was thankful for that moment.
My heart was convicted, and I knew that I had definitely been acting like a brat. I couldn't believe that God would allow me to be Rhett's mom, me-- the one who was feeling so sorry for herself that she had to get up early, me--the one who is so selfish so often.
In that moment, I thanked God for my sweet children, for my family, and for allowing me to be a mother. I thanked him for forgiving me, and for giving me a fresh start each day. I am truly blessed and have so much to be thankful for.
Because I love being a mom....
Even at 6:18 a.m.