My Beautiful Teacher

As we drove home from Rhett's appointment in Austin today, I started thinking about just how far Rhett has come.  He has made so much progress and been through so much in his short 16 month life.

It all started with the twin pregnancy.  It can't be easy to be sharing a womb with someone else!  We knew early on in the pregnancy that Rhett was trapped low in my pelvis.  We had no idea that he was stuck in such a way that he couldn't move.  We also didn't know that his head was turned to the left, and that his little neck muscles on the right side were not developing.  Thankfully enough, though, we did not have any major complications and the twins were born at 37.5 weeks.  The twins did not have to spend any time in the NICU, and came home with me 4 days later.

Those first few weeks at home are a blur.  I remember nursing them.  A lot.  And I remember staring at them while they slept to make sure they were breathing.  A lot.  And the spit up.  Oh, the spit up.  And all the laundry, mostly due to the spit up.  Rhett was finally diagnosed with acid reflux at 4 months, and put on medication at 6 months.  But the amount of spit up we witnessed in those early weeks.....wow.

At the twins' one week appointment, our pediatrician noticed the tightness in Rhett's neck muscles and gave us some stretches to do with him.  And we did them, probably twice as much as we were told to.  Then at the two week appointment, there was no improvement, so we were given a few more positioning exercises to try.  At one month we started discussing therapy, and at 2.5 months we took Rhett to his first physical therapy evaluation.  Watching my baby scream while a therapist turned and twisted his little head gave me chills.  It was hard to fight back the tears appointment after appointment, week after week.  We continued on with slow progress.

At 4 months Rhett was in weekly therapy and we were spending hours a day working with him at home.  We were also really starting to see his face change, with one cheek looking fuller and his eyes and ears not aligned anymore.  It was difficult to find a balance between therapy with Rhett, and giving Rhys the attention she needed and deserved.  While my friends were going to play dates and the zoo with their babies, I was making appointments to see specialists or at home listening to my baby cry as I stretched and did his therapy with him.

At 5 months we got Rhett fitted for his first DocBand.  The helmet was going to help with the facial asymmetry and plagiocephaly (flat spot), but it was not going to take away the physical therapy or other issues that we were noticing.  It was at this age that we noticed Rhett was not doing the things that Rhys was doing.  He was not reaching for things, holding things, chewing on things.  He didn't move his arms much at all.  We were worried.....was it related to his head shape?  Was it something else?  Fear became such a part of my day as I watched and waited for appointments to help explain what was going on.

At 6 months, we had a follow up appointment with our pediatrician.  I will never forget that visit.  She started out by saying that she thought Rhett might have Cerebral Palsy.  I don't remember anything she said after that.  I was numb.  My mind was racing.  What would we do?  What would life be like?  Why was this happening?  Would Rhett walk?  Would he use his hands?  Would he throw a ball?  Would he be in a wheelchair?  I was consumed with fear of the unknown.  We made an appointment with a neurologist to confirm, but we were going to have to wait 3.5 months to get in to the pediatric neurologist.  And 3.5 months is a LONG time to wait when it is about your baby.

I started educating myself as much as I could and doing every single type of therapy they told me to.  Any little thing I could do, I did it.....we did it, and we started seeing improvement.  Month by month we saw progress as we waited for the appointments.

Then we saw the neurologist, and our minds were put at ease.  Rhett was given a diagnosis, but it was not CP.  He was diagnosed with Developmental Dyspraxia.  We left that appointment feeling relieved and thankful, but still a little uncertain as to all the challenges Rhett would face.  Rhett continues to make progress, but every little thing has been HARD for him.  Learning to sit.....hard.  Learning to roll over.....hard.  Learning to crawl.....hard.  He works so hard each and every day.  I'm so thankful that God blessed him with a strong will and great determination.

If I knew then what I know now, would it have been easier?  Probably.  But part of the journey is waiting, and growing, and relying on God through the tough times.  We feel so blessed at how well Rhett is doing now.  As I continue to take Rhett to appointments, I see other families facing much more than we have had to deal with.  But this has been our journey, and for us, it has been a struggle.

I read somewhere that parents of special needs children lose the illusion of control early.  Parents of typical children often are fooled into thinking they are in control of those little lives, that this action will beget this action, that they are in charge.  I know we felt that way with both the twins.  The article said that the illusion is shattered in early teenage years but especially in the beginning the illusion is there.  For kids with special needs there is no illusion.  You are thrust into a world of unknowns, a world that we knew nothing about but were part of just the same.  I always thought that if I did things a certain way, that things would turn out okay, that life would go the way I wanted, and that I would be in control.  So not true.

My little boy has taught me so much.  I know that this has all been a blessing, though not one I would have ever asked for.  I've learned that our marriage is strong, that God gave Tim qualities that I would need through this process.  I learned that family and friends can be and are a source of strength and encouragement on the hard days.  I learned that I am not in control.  Rhett has taught me that each day is a new beginning, a new day to start again.  I have learned that I serve a mighty and faithful God, who  will never give me more than I can handle.  I learned that my faith is strong, even though I sometimes am weak.  I have learned that God is big enough, his grace is sufficient.  

Even though Rhett is no longer wearing his helmet, we are not "finished" yet.  He still has Dyspraxia and always will.  I have just been thinking a lot about where we have been and where we are going.  There are still so many unknowns right now, and we don't know what struggles Rhett will soon face.  I know that it will be okay though, and I don't need to have all the answers.  I sometimes want them, and struggle to find them, but I have peace in my heart.

Thank you, Rhett, my beautiful teacher, my beautiful baby boy.

Do We Really Need TWO of Everything?

Um, no.

When you find out you are having twins, your mind starts to wonder if you will need two of everything.   On top of that, if you are first-time parents, you have no idea what you will need.  After a lifetime of attending baby showers and walking through Babies R Us, you assume that you will need at least two of every baby gadget and toy (in various colors and patterns, of course.)  But you don't.  I promise.

I'll admit that I too fell prey to the cunning lies shooing me back to Babies R Us week after week.  Those little voices whispering that I needed at least 2 of everything, one in pink and one in blue.  I hope this list will help you not make the same mistakes I did!

Here is what you definitely do need TWO of:

*Cribs - You can actually get away with just one for several months since your babies will be pretty small and easily fit together.  We had our twins nap in the same crib for a couple months, but we always put them to bed in their own cribs.  We went ahead and bought two before they were born because my OCD-ness wanted the nursery all set up and put together.

*Car Seats - Of course I know that you already know you need 2 car seats unless you are still in denial that you are having twins.  If your doctor told you that you are having twins, make sure you buy 2 car seats....one for each baby.  And if I were you, I would make sure to get a car seat that is compatible with your stroller.  More on this later.

*Boppy Pillows - These are the best invention ever.  These U-shaped pillows can be used to "hold" your baby while they nap, drink a bottle, stare out the window, or during tummy time.  You will rest your own head on the boppy to catch a quick catnap, when you are checking your email, or maybe even when you are watching reruns of the Kardashians at 3 a.m.  Just sayin'.  Oh, and you will need 2 for you and your husband to each have one.  I mean, for the babies to each have one.

 relaxing on the boppy!

 using the boppy to "hold" one

*Bouncy Seats - These vibrating chairs are wonderful and most babies enjoy them.  They help your baby sit at an incline so they work especially well if you have a baby that frequently spits up.  You can also put the babies in these to stare at the wall or the ceiling fan.  Exciting entertainment these bouncy seats provide, I tell ya!  I also used a bouncy chair for one twin while I was bathing or dressing the other one.

 great for photos

sunshine in the bouncy chair!

can even be used to feed young babies who cannot sit up

*Bumbos - I almost didn't put this in the "need 2" category because I'm not sure that we really used these that much at the same time.  But they are nice to have, and really help the babies sit up.  They are also great for traveling because you can use them to feed solids in and as a bath chair (and then you don't have to pack your high chairs and bath tub too!)

Here is what you need ONE of:

*Pack n Play - This is great for when you twins get a little older and you need to "cage" them for a minute or maybe five minutes.  And you will need to contain them after they start rolling.  Like when you need to go to the bathroom.  Or to make a sandwich.  I know you are thinking that you will be a super mom and never need to use one of these.  Seriously don't fight it.  Just trust me and get one.

*Swing - Not all babies love to swing, so don't waste your money buying two until you know if you will need them.  We did end up having two swings, but we rarely had both twins swinging at the same time.

*Exersaucer/Jumper - Again, not all babies love these over stimulating toys.  We had two of them, but rarely used them at the same time.  We kept one upstairs and one downstairs.  I let one twin play in it while I bathed/changed/dressed the other one and then we would switch.  Like doing stations together.  For babies.  Yes I am a cool mom like that.

*Baby Carrier - we had 2 of the Baby Bjorn carriers, but we never seemed to use both of them at the same time.  One baby always seemed to be content in the car seat, or wanted to be held, etc.  We also stayed home most of the time when they were little enough to be worn.  This item is not even a necessity, but it is nice to use when a double stroller won't work.  You can also go grocery shopping with twins using one of these.  One baby rides with mom, and the other one goes in the cart in their car seat.

*Double Stroller - I recommend the Double Snap n Go.  Because when you have twins, you need to be quick.  This stroller weighs like a pound and is so easy to operate.  Make sure you get car seats that are compatible with this stroller.

*A high quality breast pump - I wanted a good, reliable, fast breast pump.  Because with twins, you don't have the luxury of extra time.  I went with the Medela Freestyle.  In one word - Awesome.  (You may want to have a couple sets of pump parts so that you don't have to worry about washing/sterilizing them after every use.  I had enough to pump 3 times between washings.)

*Nursing Pillow - I recommend My Breast Friend Deluxe for twins.  This pillow is nothing short of amazing.  It is like a little mini table that you wear around your waist.  Be warned though, it is quite large.  I think a small plane could land on it.  Or you could nurse 2 babies at the same time on it.  Big but wonderful!

Things you will need a plethora of:
You will need more of a few items than your cousin who had a singleton will need.  Don't worry, a lot of these items can be laundered, so if you don't mind doing laundry all day and all night, you don't have to buy a bunch of them.  I prefer to sleep over doing laundry, so we bought a multitude of the following items.

*Bibs - It is amazing how many bibs you might go through in one day.  Especially if your baby spits up a lot.  And you will need even more when those little creatures start eating solids.  And then they will start getting teeth.  And drooling all over everything.  Bibs are super important.  We used approximately 5 bibs a day x 2 babies = 10 bibs a day.  I'm sure some days we used all 48 of the bibs we owned.  Buy extra.  You won't be sorry.

*Burp cloths - These are also known as "diapers" to our mother's generation.  So don't freak out when your mom says "toss me a diaper" and you do, and then she gets confused because she didn't really need a diaper, but rather a burp cloth.  Cloth diapers, or burp cloths, are pretty amazing in that they are so absorbent.  If your baby spits up a lot, you might need to buy 100 of these.  I'm not kidding.  You can also use them to clean up other messes, too.  I would suggest starting out with at least 12 clothes, and then you can decide if you need more.  I had one twin who spit up A LOT, and I think we own about 50 cloths.  And no, I am not exaggerating.


*Bottles - IF you are bottle feeding, newborns eat 8-10 times a day.  Now remember you have 2 babies, so you could potentially use 20 bottles in a day.  Would you rather wash and sterilize bottles or have time to eat a sandwich?  That's what I thought.  Buy 20 bottles.   If you are breastfeeding, you will probably only need about 4 -6 bottles.  I made the mistake and bought a ton of bottles and then didn't even use them.  And no I couldn't return them because I had already washed and sterilized them 3 months before the babies were born.  I'm OCD, remember?  Just start out with a few and you can always get on www.babiesrus.com at 3 a.m. (after you watch reruns of the Kardashians) and order a few more.

*Receiving Blankets - These can be used to swaddle, as a changing mat, burp cloth, sun blocker, carpet protector, etc.  You need one jillion.  Seriously.  We got several from the hospital before we left.  I don't know how many we have, but they were worth whatever it was we spent on them.  And since we live in Texas, and it is usually HOT, I prefer the muslin style since they are lighter weight.

receiving blankets used to swaddle

*Diapers - Yep, you knew this one was coming.  Here is a hint though:  don't buy tons of preemie diapers.  Take all the ones that are in your hospital room before you leave.  Don't worry, it's not stealing.  Believe me, you PAID for those diapers.  One of our twins never even wore preemie diapers. He started out in newborn size.  Just buy a small pack of preemies one at a time until you are out of that size.  They will grow out of the preemie and newborn sizes faster than you think.


Here is a list of things you do NOT need to waste your money on:

*Bottle Warmer - Hopefully you are breastfeeding your baby.  And if you aren't, just run a bottle under warm tap water.  Done.

*Wipes Warmer - Seriously?  Don't give in.  Your baby will not hate you if you put a cold wipe on his little hiney.  He will not like getting his diaper changed regardless of what you do.  So don't waste the money/time/energy to make this gadget work.

*White Noise Machines - There is a huge market for these products out there.  Teddy bears that play womb sounds, machines with 18,000 sound options, and more.  Let me tell you what works best.....a tower fan.  Or a humidifier.  Or static on the radio.

*Super cute fancy outfits - When your twins are little, you will not go anywhere.  For real.  You will dress your babies in cotton onesies.  And that is it.  And they will be happy.  And you will be happy.  The end.

*Baby shoes - It is strange that they even make shoes small enough for babies to wear.  Why in the world do babies need to wear shoes?  We wear shoes to protect our feet.  They can't walk.  And have you ever tried to put a ballet slipper on a tiny foot?  Not fun.  So don't waste your money on 14 pair of shoes to match all those cute outfits you bought (even though I told you not to....see above).  If you are worried about your babies' feet, just put some socks on them.  

*Two sets of thermometers/nail clippers/syringes.  You will not remember which one belongs to which twin anyways.  Just get one set and clean often.  (And I know you are thinking that this is gross, and not hygienic....just remember, your twins shared your uterus for the past 10 months, and I'm sure they won't mind getting their nails trimmed with the same pair of clippers!)

*Nursing Cover - I know the hooter hiders (yes, that is what one brand it named!) are tempting, but you don't need this.  Especially if you are tandem feeding your twins.  You won't all fit under that little square of material.  If you are going to be nursing your twins one at a time, you can just use one of the receiving blankets as a cover.

So before your twins arrive, return those fancy pacifier wipes and that spa bathtub and get your money back.  Then use it to go buy some more diapers and extra strength tylenol....and maybe a bottle of wine.  Or two.

Twas the Night Before....

Twas the night before twins, when all through the house

Everyone was stirring, especially my spouse!
The car seats were placed in the Avalon with care,
In hopes that the babies soon would be there.


I had originally planned on writing out an entire "Twas the Night Before Twins" but just can't seem to get it finished.  I was so excited to get started and Rhys crawled over and knocked over my water.  The carpet needed a towel and Rhys needed a new pair of pajamas.  Then Rhett needed some cuddling since he is getting another tooth.  Ouch!  After that, both babies needed a diaper change before bed.  And then they were hungry.  So, I put down the computer and postponed this blog post so that I could feed them.  Yes, it's true.  I do feed my children occasionally.  Even at the expense of my blog.  And now I am just tired.  HA!  Maybe next year I'll add another verse or two.


Here is a pic from our last night before twins!  (I can't believe I'm actually posting this picture with my ginormous belly!)

 And here is a picture of me cooking dinner for Tim on the night before our twins were born.

Just kidding!  Did you really think I cooked dinner?  This picture was staged.  (You know "barefoot and pregnant...")  I remember eating some chicken noodle soup and goldfish crackers for dinner that night.

And this was the last picture taken before the twins were born.  Wow....that belly was dangerously big!